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Stories, Poems, Humor, Songs

See also Y2K Juice Poems

Revolutionary Technology Trumps Y2K
Bill Gates' Y2K Solution
The Y-to-K Solution

Why Tuké? song
A "Y2K Lessons" song
Lloyd Ferris Song

Special Olympics Compassion

Special Olympics Compassion

I read recently the story of the Seattle Special Olympics at which 9
physically and/or mentally disabled youth lined up for the 100yd dash.
Shortly after the enthusiastic start, one participant fell over several
times after which he stayed on the ground and cried. The other 8 all
looked around, stopped and came back to him to help. They encouraged him
affectionately to rejoin the race. All 9 then linked arms and ran the rest
of the race together, crossing the finishing line in partnership. The
onlookers rose and clapped and cheered.

Apart from the sheer joy of the story for me, I realised how sweet an
analogy and how communicable a concept if it were applied to the human race.

Our future could be one of competition and desire for if not greed for
glory, OR one where the front runners choose to turn back from their
pursuits to embrace the lonely, the fallen and sad and help them to enter
the race once more. This time the race, however, is a jog for the sheer
fun of it, a run to demonstrate the power of love and compassion over greed
and dominance.

Is it perhaps time to relegate the artefacts and artifices of human
creation to a holding room while we embrace the fallen?

This is not a new concept, it is simply that I could understand deeply and
with a freshness the workings of Awareness when I read of this race. It
bought me face to face with my own greed - greed for new insights, new
faces. Maybe it is overtime I heard the sorrow of the world in simple ways
and responded with simple compassion. Perhaps even the race to know is an
event to be run for the sheer joy of it and the exhileration of knowing we
have left no-one fallen on bad times behind us.

It takes the 'small ones' to teach us. I will cherish my feelings from
this story for a long time. In a way I think it has bought me to a crisis
in my line of thinking and given me a precious loop-hole to escape the
crushing vendetta of logical analysis. It seems that mentalisation creates
a clutter and dissonance, a confusion that creates a need to know more, a
search for ever more clever answers and a desire to be always thinking.

The eight young runners, howsover the events in their lives bought them to
that particular day, were free of the vice of mentalisation. In their own
inimitable way, they contributed more to the downcast and left-behind than
the sheer glory of running and competing. They knew with one mind,
undisturbed by a need to conform to or confront forms and rules, that the
person on the ground was in need of comfort. They rallied instantly to
succour him, free from the crippling mentalisation of how they might
disturb the proceedings, of their own desires to win, of how he would
really be okay cause someone else would help him, that their job was to
create the illusion that winning is superior to compassion. They allowed
the spirit of compassion to use their feet to TURN THE WORLD AROUND.

Mary Bento

Bill Gates' Y2K solution

Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton, and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with
God. During dinner God told them, "I invited you to dinner because I needed
three important people to send my message out to all people, 'Tomorrow I
will destroy the Earth!' "

Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them, "I have two
really bad announcements to make. First, God really does exist, and second,
tomorrow He will destroy the Earth."

Clinton called an emergency session of Congress and told them, "I have good
news and bad news. The good news is that God does exist, and the bad news is
that he will destroy the Earth tomorrow."

Bill Gates went back to Microsoft headquarters and told his people, "I have
two fantastic announcements! First, I am one of the three most important
people on Earth, and second, the Year 2000 problem has been solved!"


Firebringer News Service (FBNS) - Experts warned today of a new and
deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the 100GB Bug.

As most people know, McDonald's restaurant signs show the number of
hamburgers the giant chain has sold. That number now stands at 99 billion
burgers, or 99 Gigaburgers (GB). Within months or even weeks, that number
will roll over to 100GB.

McDonald's signs, however, were designed years ago, when the prospect of
selling one hundred billion hamburgers seemed unthinkably remote. So the
signs have only two decimal places.

This means that, after the sale of the 100 billionth burger, McDonald's
signs will read "00 Billion Burgers Sold", causing the misconception that
McDonald's has made no sales in over 30 years of operation. This, experts
predict, will cause a complete collapse of consumer confidence in
McDonald's products.

The ensuing catastrophic drop in sales is seen as almost certain to force
the already-troubled company into bankruptcy. This, in turn, will push
the teetering American economy over the brink, which, finally, will
complete the total devastation of the global economy, ending civilization
as we know it, and forcing us all to live on beetles.

"The people who know -- the sign-makers -- are really scared of 100GB,"
one expert said. "I don't know about you, but I'm digging up a copy of


A little boy was spending his Saturday morning playing in his sandbox. He had with him his box of cars and trucks, his plastic pail, and a shiny, red plastic shovel. In the process of creating roads and tunnels in the soft sand, he discovered a large rock in the middle of the sandbox.

The lad dug around the rock, managing to dislodge it from the dirt. With no little bit of struggle, he pushed and nudged the rock across the sandbox by using his feet. (He was a very small boy and the rock was very huge.) When the boy got the rock to the edge of the sandbox, however, he found that he couldn't roll it up and over the little wall.

Determined, the little boy shoved, pushed, and pried, but every time he thought he had made some progress, the rock tipped and then fell back into the sandbox.

The little boy grunted, struggled, pushed, shoved-but his only reward was to have the rock roll back, smashing his chubby fingers.

Finally he burst into tears of frustration. All this time the boy's father watched from his living room window as the drama unfolded. At the moment the tears fell, a large shadow fell across the boy and the sandbox. It was the boy's father.

Gently but firmly he said, "Son, why didn't you use all the strength that you had available? Defeated, the boy sobbed back, "But I did, Daddy, I did! I used all the strength that I had! "No, son," corrected the father kindly. "You didn't use all the strength you had. You didn't ask me." With that the father reached down, picked up the rock, and removed it from the sandbox.

The moral here is that WE all need help sometimes Your Friends, Family and Loved Ones are there for you Learn to talk to them when you need them.

Revolutionary Technology Trumps Y2K

Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade-name

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology; no wires, no
electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on.
It's so easy to use even a child can operate it. Compact and portable,
it can be used anywhere, even sitting in an armchair by the fire, yet it
is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.

Here is how it works: BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered
sheets of recyclable paper, each capable of holding thousands of bits of
information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device
called a binder, which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.

Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of
the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Each
sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your
brain. A flick of your finger takes you to the next sheet. BOOK may be
taken up at any time and used merely by simply opening it.

BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting. The Browse feature allows you
to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you
wish. Many come with an Index feature, which pinpoints the exact
location of any selected information for instant retrieval. An optional
"BOOKMARK" accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left
it in a previous session, even if the BOOK is closed.

BOOKMARKS fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKMARK can
be used in BOOKS by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous
BOOKMARKS can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store
numerous views at once. The number is limited by the
number of pages in the BOOK.

You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with an
optional programming tool, named: "Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic
Intercommunication Language Stylus" -- or -- "PENCILS."

Portable, durable and affordable, the BOOK is being hailed as the
precursor of a huge entertainment wave. BOOK'S appeal seems so certain
that thousands of content-creators have committed to the platform and
investors are reportedly flocking to the new phenomenon. Look for a flood
of new titles soon.

The Y-to-K Solution

Dear Sirs,

I hope I haven't misunderstood your instructions, because to be honest,
none of the panic surrounding this "Y to K" date problem makes any sense to
me. At any rate, I have finished converting the source code in all the
company's programs so that they are ready for the new dates with the
following new months:


and days:


Years were a breeze, since they are only spelled out in the Legal
department's applications, and won't be affected until two thousand and
twentk anyway. Please note that have I completed my assignment before the
scheduled due date and way under budget. I have enjoyed working for you
and hope you will consider me for future projects.